Arvin Tang.

2011-11-27T10:26:00.001-08:00

perhaps its great i stopped blogging a while... nobody will check and i can write somethoughts for the days...

gf and me had a quarrell and she told me she is very tired of trying. all along i dont understand what happen, what did i do. i was defensive, i couldnt understand why despite all love and feeligns i had for her only, till she told me the reasons.

then i realized...

i am unreliable.
i am revengeful.
i am someone who dont act like im attached.

i guess im not a very nice person. i'll work on it.. can make her proud someday..

vin

2011-06-23T03:35:00.000-07:00

Humans value things only when they are new.

Remember this? When you dad purchased a new car, for the first month, he washes the car himself everyday. 2 months down, he shampoos it once every week at the petrol kiosk. 6 months down, he chucks it to the maid or even to you, if you pissed him off.

To me, it’s inbuilt in us homosapiens to like new objects. Take neutral subjects for illustration- my adorable nieces Kaylee and Rylee can be calmed down by stuffing new toys in their little hands. Haha, yes I am generalizing but the fact is, this scenario could be found everywhere- the care you emphasize on your new laptop, the constant screen wiping of your (not-so) tech-cutting-edged iPhone, the ‘Strangers’ video showcasing popular ‘theory of Love’ where couples were shown to be susceptive to stages; crazily in love then dwindling down to a pathetic state..

Why is this so? (with the recent readings of freakonomics and superfreakonomics at night, I intend to investigate this- muaha hey I have been reading economics for a while at school, ought to relate to real life right?;) )

Well, law of diminishing returns (inlaymanterms) states that despite increasing the amount of a single factor in a given situation, ceteris paribus, there will be a progressive decrease in output growth. Simply, you can’t get cup of water anymore saltier by trying to dissolve more salt; its limited by the point of saturation.

It’s a simple equation of investment vs. satisfaction gained. And by investment, it’s the opportunity cost of dedicating time money space sweat and blood. Take a new hp for instance. To purchase the best cover, screen protector and download the coolest apps were a matter of life & death when you just receive your iPhone. Those complimentary actions at that moment were to ensure you get the best out of a new handset, therefore maximising utility.

Utility is a measure of relative satisfaction in Economics. With the satisfaction of Utility, saturation occurs. Then shit happens; you take granted of that item/friendship/relationship.

My friends, I feel that there is only one way to go about this simple yet catastrophic problem: Once you accept an item as a valued-object of importance, Re-invent the identity of that item. Re-establish the vows to your partner on a regular basis. Re-enact the importance of Family to your kids through family outings. Re-new your alliance for your business soul mates. Re-examine your personal values and enforce them on a daily basis. To me, once satisfaction is obtained, we tend to slacken off. I’m not saying that we should not have an achievable goal; I’m just suggesting some methods as to how we can condition our minds to continuously appreciate people around us.

Humans value things only when they are new… or if they are perceived to be new.

:)

2011-06-22T02:28:00.000-07:00

A note to my mentor

Personally, before I break down the individual assignments that I did, I am glad to be part of this internship as the management and Ankit planned our schedule with our inputs and wishes. This is what most interns will not be able to get in other companies.

I would like to share the reason why I chose an internship in MA. I started idea generation and detailing for two start-ups last year, preparing to launch it this coming year. I was in the midst of executing operations when this opportunity knocked to venture into India came. I had to weigh my opportunity costs of attending this internship; the risks were high. Thanks to supportive partners, i was encouraged to venture out to learn and take a needy break. Even though it has been only for 2 weeks here, I am glad to say when I return, I will be able to add value to my existing start-ups and of course with no regrets.
I would categorize the bulk of my learning to three segments.

1) Research for O/P series, lead champions and individual sector

After proper introduction of VCs/angel investing, we worked on O/P series/lead champions’ research. I chose the most relevant sector, the Education industry as an individual assignment.

Generally research under my term in MA was of no difference to that done in schools- via journals, statistical websites, UNDP, IMF etc. However, the nature of the research done here will determine my view on a certain subject e.g. CRM matters for Kallos or ERP and SaaS for others, which will skew my decision for the initial screening of companies. For once, I could actually relate the importance of research. Definitely new knowledge is acquired via research.

The most beneficial part on researching is the knowledge of market trends- which industry is picking on speed (companies looking into BOP), entrepreneurs are starting to capitalize on which specific technology (cloud-base), India market is particularly receptive to what products(service, Saas). Also, I took note of the many different business models and financial systems; it indeed opened my mind towards how companies generate cash/assets according to respective industries. For example, some retail companies would want to invest in distribution channels while others would (e- commerce platforms) invest in the marketing. Much more could be said in detail.

Individual research on education sector brings me deeper into not only India markets but global trends- even some Indians who made a difference in education technology around the world (Sugata Mitra: Hole in the wall). I would dare say India is leading in the IT-education sector and is primed to see many more companies that would lead the global industry due to her socio-cultural demographics: statistics shows that despite large percentage of BOP people not receiving adequate education, India is producing significant number of talents and elites at an increasing rate- when the rising importance of education couples with the rapid growing IT sector, what more can one expect? I back up my claims with empirical statistics- something I have learnt to do from MA.

2) MA meeting and networking; screening meetings

Screening meetings was a place I picked up how investors think and the initial mechanisms that allow them to microslice a company. I chose to specifically listen to the questions asked by the investors such that I could analyses their chain of thoughts. Some issues I noticed: WRT to financials, most investors question the history of sales and scrutinize the sales projections before other factors. They would rely on ‘wisdom of crowd’ and admit if they are not familiar with that industry, requesting others with adequate experience to speak up. A ideology with examples from the screened companies: ‘A-class team with a B-class idea is preferred over a B-class team with A-class idea’ (mentioned by both Nandini and Amit Grover.) Yesterday at the 2nd round meeting we saw how the entrepreneurs ‘enter the dragon’s den’ and got ripped apart. Classic example of how pre-evaluation figures got slammed down- Swabhimaanya’s pre-evaluation of 7 Crs to 2.5Crs and hence an increase of equity being requested (additional 20%).

Follow up on the contacts networked in the convention- includes V.Capitalists and entrepreneurs ranging from different industries. Intend to start a regular mailing system to learn more about each industry. Scheduling visits to institutes for groundwork. Interact more with entrepreneurs to find out about entrepreneurship in India and perhaps how to bring back some of the good management styles within successful, the stories behind them and experiences to value add my own companies.

3) Individual meet-ups and mentors

Met founder Amit Grover and went under his 2-hour entrepreneurship program- learnt a lot on different perspectives of entrepreneurship. Member Jatin provided different insights of US and India; Member Nishkaan discussed on the manufacturing sector of India; Anand and Siddarth explained their family business to us; Rakesh on development of lavasa and real estate; Dr Malpani on his investments in health-IT sector; even from Ratna who was a securities firm employee exchanged many pointers on socio-entrepreneurship in India; interactions with entrepreneurs from Cropex and Mobicule provided me experiences of the renown typical high profiled-engineers having worked in a MNC and decided to start their own company stories. Definitely, I would not have expected such feedbacks without Ankit’s guidance and fillers on members’ background and all.

Key idea: Towards such mentors and investors, as I listen to their stories, every 3 out of 5 investors have chosen to return to their motherland from other countries, back from good prospects or MNCs to venture in the local market. This is something that took me by surprise. There is a saying by Singaporeans that foreign talents are seeping into Singapore and depleting jobs. After interactions with these members, I realized that the elites chose their return to India to focus on this fast growing country- this may perhaps be the start of a completely new Era.

2011-06-02T03:20:00.000-07:00

02 Jun 11
Today is my first day at work. Already I am seeing a lot of opportunities for me to learn here. Haha. Venture Capital companies are coy which invest in other start-ups as a form of 1) giving back to society, 2) spot upcoming market trends 3) dev. Network. So yeah Imma gonna get more network up and coming so that if I ever need help I know who to ask.

Mumbai is a challenging place. I have been travelling to many countries, and being a chillax person, when I say it’s a challenging place, I mean it. Haha. i’ll start with the weather. Its Pretty hot now at 36deg. Still, its interesting to see almost all Indians wearing pants and formal shirt. All the time I looked the most chui in my singlet and shorts HAHA. Hot it may be, in 2 weeks time it’ll dip to 28deg along the monsoon season- floods and continuous rain are dangerously eminent. I think im going work with my pretty yellow crocs slippers.

The locals: one blardy vibrant community that changed my perspective towards everything. Slums and city life coexist, hygiene is not an issue- its ignored, beggers and micro-enterprises fill the streets. Take my train experience as a case study: the city’s infrastructure is pretty efficient; you can get across the city (which is 3 times the size of Sgp) within 1.5hr. Sounds cool eh? Well the reason is that the train stops for just 25 secs at each station. Now, im not kidding when I say locals fight- push, kick, curse, climb, scratch out and into the carriages within the 45secs of transition time. Yup, people jump off and jump in before the train fully stops. Now that’s why Marvel invented Spiderman India for the comic fans here- each Indian is trained to be spidy for survival. I cant deny I had a fun time boxing my way in and out. The thing is I realized amongst the mess and chaos, there is a system. Of which for eg these people wait for passengers to come out before they rush in like Spartans. Inspiration for a ‘systematic chaos’ management style by Google probably came from here. And on hindsight, Singaporeans ought to reflect on the (chaotic) politeness.

This unique balance is something I have not experienced before. Now I understand why there’s a huge debate about China Vs. India. Dragon of china: the aggressiveness and shrewdness Vs the Elephant of India: hardworking huge talent pools of ANYTHING and everything. I think Im gonna have a fun time here. Whoosay.

First day at work, first day at breakthrough.

2011-05-06T11:37:00.000-07:00

ok im gonna chase her. no longer the old arvin tang =) time to get back on track to make a lady feel special for rest of her life. yup im declaring im chasing her now:)

2011-05-06T01:38:00.000-07:00

i think i had enough of myself. sometimes, a person change cause he's fed up, sometimes, cause he wants to, sometimes, cause of someone. i will not change for the sake of making you happy. i will do so to get US happy. walk the talk. watch me..

2011-04-24T12:15:00.000-07:00

this is a happy blogpost.

WE ALL SHOULD BE FUCKING HAPPY EVERYDAY! =D

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. different friendships for different companionship.

Arvin's newest theory:

FRIENDS = Friends (core) + e^Friends (transitory)
Transitory friends increases at an exponential rate, they come and go.
Core friends are the group of people who defines you, increasing at a decreasing exponential rate.

law of diminishing returns- love thy friends for if lost can never be the same.

<3

2011-04-21T23:19:00.001-07:00

physically present but your mind is drifting off
moment like this cant be happy if you dont let go of the past
feelings are like critters, you feel it, you hear it,
but yet when you face it and try to look for it,
they turn slient.

somethings are not meant to be found
they are to be felt.

some people are meant to fall in love but never to be together.

for once the people who matters to you believe you, allow the world to misunderstand you. then again if the people you worked hard to make them believe distrust you, perhaps they dunt belong to your core group at the start.

if you put in all your effort to gain trust yet all she wants to to live in the past, perhaps its time to break away cause it certainly doesnt feel good.

random thoughs of the day.

2011-04-14T09:15:00.000-07:00

oxymorons

big shrimp
giant ant
smart bimbo
unoffically offical

2011-04-08T12:24:00.000-07:00

alcohol.

alcohol gives me energy.
before you make a judgement, allow me to explain. i have been drinking for many years. from experimenting barcadi to appreciating single malt whiskys, i have recieve this ability called high tolerance level.

although sometimes, rarely, it does get out of hand, i am able to successful discuss deals, htht and lower the barrier/break the ice with almost any person.

tonight, it serves a different purpose.

tonight, i want to make a point.

i want to say why is my heart broken- people who dont understand me are people i dont give a fuck about. its true. thats why whenever a person's close enough will say: Arvin, you know when i didnt know you well enough, i though you were.......

guess what, i am like this. i have enough close friends to take care of, bro and sis to worry about, families to love, best friends to serve, guys to support and ladies to listen to. i also choose to be ABSOLUTE FRANK about all my matters to people who knows me.

but well, tonight i was slammed with an issue that made me rethink my stand. just because i bared all, a certain person thinks that im not good enough. that hurts! especially when it matters to me how that person think. well it may be a lovey dovey POV, or it may be from a brother POV. but whatever it is, i want to make a point, which is, although i am frank, it doesn mean i dont give a shit and cant change for the better!!!!! being frank means im ready for feedback to be a better person for people around me. i dont understand, i cant comprehend, and im sinking into the ground minute by minute cause it hurts!

argh. you know what, i think im gonna remain single for the rest of my life.

argh.

2011-04-04T21:09:00.000-07:00

feel the stars, breathe in space
you thought that this is it while you slowly rose.

wasn't certain though certainly in haze,
clinch the brightness the heart wants most.

till the moment you crashed into the liquid of maze,
never would you have guessed that there was deception by the host.

you realized what you see were just reflections,
luring you the wrong direction into destruction.

only thing is that you ain't on ground for correction,
you are only spiralling downwards attacked by silent pollution.

2011-04-02T12:26:00.000-07:00

once fallen, once broken,
never stood up, never touched up,
a luxury to feel the colour, touch the rhythm
feelings used to be like a grey bouldering gym filled with only white tiles

its during those moments when you are alone
where one day, you will finally threw fear out of the window,
Hope and Happiness come crashing back to your surprise,
like a Frisbee set to boomerang back where displacement equates to zero

words are the medium for love to be conveyed
smiles are the reflections of love to be shown
hugs are the channels of love to be distributed
kisses are the impressions of love to be placed

times like this when all but nothing happens,
you smell the love, you see her perfume,
you touch his heart, you hear her sincerity
intangible and invisible? No more they will be.

2011-03-21T20:41:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kALSETZ9ngk&feature=topvideos

I still remember the look on your face
Been through the darkness at 1:58
The words that you whispered for just us to know
You told me you loved me so why did you go away, go away

I do recall now the smell of the rain
Fresh on the pavement, I ran off the plane
That July 9th the beat of your heart
It jumps through your shirt, I can still feel your arms

But now I'll go sit on the floor wearing your clothes
All that I know is I don't know
How to be something you miss

Never thought we'd have a last kiss
Never imagined we'd end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips

I do remember the swing of your step
The life of the party, you're showing off again
And I roll my eyes and then you pulled me in
I'm not much for dancing but for you did

Because I loved your handshake, meeting my father
I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets
How you'd kiss me when I was in the middle of saying something
There's not a day I don't miss those rude interruptions

And I'll go, sit on the floor wearing your clothes
All that I know is I don't know
How to be something you miss

Never thought we'd have a last kiss
Never imagined we'd end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips, ohh

So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep
And I'll feel you forget me like I use to feel you breathe
And I'll keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are
Hope it's nice where you are

And I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day
And something reminds you, you wish you had stayed
We can plan for a change in weather and time
I never planned on you changing your mind

So, I'll go, sit on the floor wearing your clothes
All that I know is I don't know
How to be something you miss

I never thought we'd ever last kiss
Never imagined we'd end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips
Just like our last kiss, forever the name on my lips
Forever the name on my lips, just like our last

2011-03-17T00:51:00.000-07:00

Hostage of love

A shady affair's what both of us stepped in,
no one else to rely on, for others could never know nor understand.
We once thought this is what they call love,
we once believed that we created the house to our hearts.

Protect you i did, til passion turned into jealously
it became a senseless game that i spiralled into.
The rules were that i disguised my feelings,
breathless, indeed, just to be sure i could reach the center of your maze.

I got drunk on your gentleness as i crave for more,
but whats there to fear if you truly feel for me?

Aim and pull the trigger at my heart
let the deafness of the shot ransack my mind
if love is what they say as unbreakable,
i give up, i wont fight.

when you release the hostage of love,
he shattered and pieces became the Present,
Are you finally happy now
and for once, lets stop lying.

2011-03-07T10:43:00.001-08:00

omg i did it. finally. i gave her the address.

2011-02-26T23:34:00.000-08:00

i think its morally wrong to find it out from another person.

shrugs.

i feel lost for you.

2011-02-19T06:34:00.000-08:00

i need to pen this down.

law of risk assessment behavior tells us that human, yes us, are actually not as logical as we think we are. Some of the most crucial mistakes are committed When we conclude matters from reasoning.

consideration, logic, randomness, reasoning are all subjected to perceptions. define perceptions: it can be ANYTHING from the framing of words, the biasness, the environment to the colour, smell and subconscious choices. let me bring up an exemplary renowned case study:

you have a choice to either take 5 dollars, or toss a coin to determine between a 0 dollars or a 10 dollars reward. What will you choose?

most people i know will pick the assured 5 dollars cause we think that its the most logical, who would want to risk getting nothing when you're assured 5 dollars?

lets rephrase the situation. should you either pay 5 dollars or toss a coin to determine between losing nothing or losing 10 dollars, what will you choose? we know from statistics, a 80% percentage will go for the coin toss- cuz it seems logical too- well, since im losing, must as well gun for a 'no-loss' situation!

here's the problem, in both situation, the coin toss has empirically the same result, with the coin toss as a risk for 5 dollars. however, we tend to sway towards 'risk' when we are in an 'loss' situation- we justify it as being 'logical'. and yes, this is also why you've heard stories of people burning themselves up due to them not accepting losses from the stock market etc.

well in a nutshell, if one fully understand perceptions- he will be able to influence and manipulate minds. all we have to do is to find what is people's 'loss' situations. hmm. food for thought.

2011-02-17T01:54:00.001-08:00

You know what. I'm not ashamed of it. I don't think it's a crime to- in fact, I accepted it And didn't run away because I wanted to be true. My biggest strength is my biggest weakness I'm this sense; I'm Frank.

I'm proud cause I didnt do what I despised others had done in the same situation.

I'm proud of the choices I made. On hindsight, I stayed true to my principles.

In short, I'm proud of feeling sad, and that made me hang on to this seemingly long wait, of which...

I'll wait. :)

2011-02-16T06:36:00.000-08:00

creation is a pain in the ass, taxation is a pain in the ass, auditing is a bigger pain in the ass, maintaince is a pain in the ass, in fact, everything from the creation of your own company is a pain in the ass.

till you realized you're not alone and there are people who are willing to stick by you through and through-

then you no longer feel the pain in the ass and add another reason for roughing it out.

aiyo but arh aiya wanna blog a ahbeng post. kao eh, sometimes ar, see dumb girls i really quite put-off by it sia. seriously know, lack of intelligence is a big turn off yo. i hope i see you less often. argh. dumbfel. hahahhaha...

2011-02-13T07:39:00.000-08:00

theory of influencers

influencers are widely accpeted to be people who are keymakers to relationships.

we will depend on them to bring the group closer, break ice, merge similarities and construct the dream within us.

however, overdependency equates to your group being subjected to disintegration anytime when the influencer choose to quit.

thus, reduce the dependency, and encourage/initiate 2nd-goers. how do i define 2nd-goers. ever heard of a crazy, weird, impossible idea that you would have slammed down right away- until some idiot shouted: " OK LETS DO IT, NOW", and in the end you followed through the action? that idiot is a 2nd-goer

now that is what you truely need in a successful dynamic team- not leaders but fast adapters.

2011-02-13T07:26:00.000-08:00

wow. i just managed to not only transfer all my Nokia contacts into my iphone, but also upload it online so that wherever i am in the world i have access to it.

no more 'lost phone panic' syndromn. for those who are interested, just follow these steps:

1) connect nokia to com and sync using nokia software
2) use ' WINDOW CONTACTS' folder to IMPORT ur phone's .VCF contact files into the com- they should now appear as .contacts files. alternatively you can 'explore' ur nokia and copy paste the .vcf files into a folder, then import to the 'windows contacts' folders
3) sync ur iphone to 'windows contacts' via itunes
4) can also upload the contacts to google contacts!

its that simple! beauty of technology. haha. oh did i mention you can save your MSN contacts, just in case ur account get hacked so you can restore all your contacts? =) files-> save contacts and it'll be under your 'user name' doc. in 'my computer'.

hahah i am sucha geek.

2011-02-09T10:20:00.000-08:00

you know some days you just want to really talk to a person but you cant? frustrating eh?

feels it everyday.

then i'll go up behind the MPSH and i'll sit at the piano. then i'll play for a good 15 mins. it doesn matter if its the same old songs- it allows me to chill down and pace my own feelings. i call this my 'pacer'.

when you're frustrated, whats your 'pacer'? scientifically, its called positive conditioning whereby a certain action is affixed to emotions- be it conscious or unconscious- and by applying the action, you'll be able to feel that emotion.

that's how dancers feel- through dancing their emotions away. how athletics achieve the 'high' in running progressively faster. how public speakers ensure each word and the linkage between ideas is proper via regular actions.

be what you wear, do what you think.

maybe thats why i cant stop thinking about a friend.

2011-02-06T22:20:00.000-08:00

OH YES. i forget to mention this for a long time.

herein two people im proud of in hall. one's a brother i can speak to regarding everything under the sun, be it 'eporner.com' to education to r.ships, he is one helluva malay i respect. he is who he is, and this guy will be the ceo of some firm one day. confirm win ' the malay with the biggest heart'

and there's another sis of mine. ms elvie na- if you're reading this, i just want to tell you when i first met you, (no im not gonna say i fell in love with you please) i knew you were a damn nice person. yet from all our late nights, clubbings, outings, confessions, you begged to differ. but im so happy to see you accept many things you wouldn't a sem back. so happy to see you smile in your family pictures, so happy to see that you're really looking at things from a different perspective. im proud of you sister. choice was always your favorite word, and i'd like to think that its a happy word for you. press on sister, you're back on track to a happy life. (Y)

love, bro.

i also cant deny that whenever im with you, i think of the 3rd person who cant be there anymore..

2011-02-06T22:03:00.000-08:00

3 idiots.

i am very impressed at the many elements this film posseses. am shocked at how its able to make my cry, then laugh, then cry yet again till the end of the flim.

tales of friendships, believe in passions, the simplicity of matters were beautifully portrayed in this movie. 3 idiots. haha. wad an idiotic trio whom i can totally relate to my own brotherhood. the four of us are total idiots, with me being the less idiotic one of course.4 of us will eventually lead different lives, but will always be there for each other. lets meet up soon yeah, i want to win ur mahjong money guys.

it has been a few days after nexx, i hope there's a chance soon again for us to meet you pig. so much more to tell you. wishing u a fast recovery.

2011-02-06T10:47:00.000-08:00

the urge to recieve a hug from a person i love.

does that mean i miss the hug or i miss having a person whom i can hug?

i think i need need a hug lah. someone hug me=(

*small font: luckily i got my bearbear*

2011-02-03T22:59:00.001-08:00

isnt it sad that as each year's cny passes, you notice something is missing from the previous year? like, number of visiting relatives, some customs, matters here and there.

even more worrying, its has been a trend=S

oh wait. this year i went into the temple and prayed with my heart for the first time=)

2011-02-03T04:34:00.000-08:00

a little sis of mine. not that little with the big heart that she has. but one sis that i will always care for, among many others. she's leaving for studies in Aust, and here's wishing you all the best. been with you through your ups and downs, will continute to be here for you. continue your sunshine smile pretty sis=)

2011-02-02T21:00:00.000-08:00

simple acts, heartwarming feelings.

you've seen parents giving their children angpaos, its normal. but when my sister to my parents and said “我都这样大了，拿去吧！”... its a reflection of my parents' successful upbringing. its not bout the money, its about the willingness to give back.

=) happy chinese new year people. new year new start, and its gonna be a good year ahead!

2011-01-31T21:26:00.001-08:00

in a fit of anger, i suddenly rmb what my mum did a year ago when she was angsty.

she was on the bed doing some handicraft stuff when the metal box of stuff dropped onto her toe. immediately she was like "哎哟， bastard!~"

WOW.

my mum knows how to curse, in english, how cool is that? i asked her, “ 哇，你也懂得怎样用英文骂喔！”

“当然啦，我装傻你以为我真的傻？”

haha never underestimate my mama. or in fact, people who keep quiet. just because they dont say doesnt mean they dont know. smart people talk less and analayse more. walk the talk instead or talk the walk yo. hmm.

2011-01-30T10:06:00.000-08:00

seriously, grow up dude. grow up. when a jewel is in ur hands and you rub it into the mud instead of polishing it, its fucking dumb. wake up. stop trying to find "bones in an egg" (desmond, 2011)

on a second note, i am damn glad i could have that meeting.

on a 3rd note, its been long since i shed tears.

on a 4th note, im so glad that my bros and sis are there for me. i am a lucky man.

on a last note... i sincerely hope cny will work out.

2011-01-28T13:00:00.000-08:00

its 5am in the morning, but i have an urge to do this.

jie i know you're stalking me. i mean you, yeah, my jie by birth. haha. mum cant keep anything to herself and its damn obvious, esp when she out of the blue suddenly says: 你。。。还是放不下？。。。 and after i shot her a, what-the-hell-look, she defended immediately and proclaimed: 大姐说的。 hhaha. well jie, if u're really chancing upon this. well, i want to know bout your life last time, when you were in the same stage as me, when u were my age.

everyone has a story, i wanna hear bout yours. cut me the" you just listen to me, i have gone through..." and just tell me what happened. i always wanted to know, cause i lived thru it but was too young to comprehend. i have mine too, and as i would like to share with you, but hey, you first.
________________________________________________________________________________

on another side.. its been 25 days. crap.

2011-01-28T01:31:00.000-08:00

陈竑玮

my newly commissioned name. what a morning...

i miss her.

2011-01-26T23:56:00.001-08:00

haiyo... why are there so much love problems?

true enough, we're young, can still try out things... but then, vern's quote always remain in my head since chiangmai, where we saw the shooting metorite.

"yes, gf/bfs are for companionship, but if you dont have the situation to settle down, what for get a partner? come'on, when you are settling down, u'll consider faith, religion, eugenics, genetics, socio-cultural background, stability, family... why get attached just because you like him or her, then break up and spoil a possible chance?"

thats why i respect vern so much in this aspect.

come 2nd issue, was reminded of something i heard of since young but made not much sense till recently. 我妈妈常对姐姐和我说， “在感情里，一对夫妻需要有个头，有个尾；总有一位是在那儿忍。但如果你不能接受他，为何在一起伤感情呢？”

i swear my mum was confucious in her previous lifetime.

2011-01-25T11:03:00.000-08:00

acutally, higher expectations do not bring greater disappointment. i believe only with higher expectations can one push himself to greater heights. true enough, lower expectations bring less risk, but we all know we'll regret should we dont put in our best.

then again, comes leverage. building on what you can or could have done on others' effort. a bunch of chopsticks is stronger than a single one. cliche, but its true for it to e a cliche term in the first place. use leverage wisely and you'll find routes with a ladder to proceed closer to your results.

but hmm, exploit it badly, well, u'll take a slide down, sometimes doing even worse than before. relying blindly on others... nah. 我懒惰不帮我妈时她常说， “气死我了，靠人不如靠自己”

work hard people, there's no such thing as a shortcut. whoooosay to success.

2011-01-24T23:39:00.000-08:00

sometimes, you just have to ask.

'sorry' is not the hardest word, but half hearted apologies do more harm than no apologies

lessons can be drawn anywhere. i draw mine from 'the last lecture'.

spend a lil time to read. i always think that reading for an hr allows you to absorb years of experience. of course, apply it after you absorb, if not, whatehell you read it for? ;)

我妈常说，没东西做时就去读故事书！ well i guess there's a reason why im smarter when im young, i read damn a lot last time. haha.

2011-01-21T05:34:00.001-08:00

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

can you get outta my mind?!

keeping a secret tumblr is making me even more fckin emo haha. dammit.

2011-01-20T00:35:00.000-08:00

compassion. to live without compassion is akin to living in a world without feelings.

http://sg.yfittopostblog.com/2011/01/18/hero-pilot-holds-plane-for-grieving-grandpa/

above linked is a story i felt for so much, i teared at the imagination of the scene. In summary, a pilot held up hundreds of passengers in order to wait for a grieving grandpa who was scheduled to see his grandson for the last time- his grandson had been murdered by despicable scum and was heading for organ donations surgery.

think about it. of all the traffic jams we were in, delays we were forced upon, the impatient wait for others, did we ever consider what could have happened to the other parties? scienticfically, we are proven to only have patience for 10 mins of waiting time.

yet science shouldnt be an excuse for the lack of maturity, compassion and patience. 我时常在交通繁忙时‘杜兰’，esp when cars overtake me. 但当我不耐烦时我妈常说，：“你这么急干吗，可能他妻子需要去医呢？”

if you were in that plane as a passenger, and you didnt know of this situation, would you curse blindly? i'll be honest, i would. but from now on, i dont think i will.

when there's a delay, it just mean that you have more time to consider and slow things down for yourself to take a break.

2011-01-18T01:27:00.000-08:00

business management ideas-

identity a problem, Mass generation of absurd;outoftheworld;crazy ideas, add divide subtract multiply the issue, create and feedback.

innovation cant happen if you dont allow yourself to think out of the box.

2011-01-16T09:39:00.000-08:00

everyone is selfish.

yeah you heard me right. everyone is selfish, and they should be selfish. My mama told me, when people count to the exact cents of a bill, its their right to do so. after all, you didn't give them allowance, did you?

the only reason when a person withhold that selfish tendency to share is friendship. to be a friend is to be selfless.

When a person treats you, he is doing it out of generosity. 我妈常说，这是情，不是理。 should you treat others, dont expect any returns.

similarly, to Love with expectations is not love. its called demand， and demand brings unhappiness.

have a bigger heart, love with a larger soul.

2011-01-15T20:56:00.001-08:00

a tumblr created for the ghost of you and me.

2011-01-14T10:06:00.000-08:00

What climbing/bouldering competition taught me today.

Bouldering is a style of climbing emphasizing power, strength, and dynamics. Its focus is on individual moves or short sequences of moves, unlike traditional climbing or sport climbing, which generally demand more endurance over longer stretches of rock where the difficulty of individual moves is not as great. Boulder routes are commonly referred to as problems (a British appellation) because the nature of the climb is often short, curious, and much like problem solving. Sometimes these problems are eliminates, meaning certain artificial restrictions are imposed. Bouldering is more focused on the technique of climbing instead of undertaking a full bodied climb.

Today i ended my intermediate climbing comp slightly below my expectation. immediately after the competition, i felt that if i had trained for it; gain much more strength, there may be a possible chance i would get to top 15 of my category. i was certain i couldn't do better just because im not fit at the moment.

i was wrong.

Few sentences from oldtimer jan-ah-pa made me realized how much this.. failure of doing well in climbing competition is actually a matter of incompetence in attitude towards general issues- my life.

"those who win (climbing)are not just those who are damn strong, but those who plan every single MOTION of their body towards the ending tile"

at that moment, i was like, dammit! im like that towards general issues! i like to plan, analyze, create and visualize visionary ideologies. BUT, what the hell! im careless cause i literally cant care more, ignoring details and all, just like in climbing, i just want to 'bump' my way up to the ending tile!

it may work- but only to a certain extent. Now, in studies, business, climbing alike, i have reached that extend of success. if i want to breakthrough and be BETTER, i NEED to be consistently aware of small minute details. i need to work my way out, not giving myself excuses anymore. cant afford such mistakes anymore arvintang!

remember, no one can help you if you dont want to help yourself. hmm. i can do this!

2011-01-11T11:01:00.000-08:00

im writing it all down. perhaps one day u'll see everything.

2011-01-10T21:30:00.000-08:00

hmm, lesson of the day

more than often, when we travel, the real landscapes of the world disappoint us cause its not in tune with our imaginary landscapes of that excat place.

hmm. to live in reality or not?

take the red or blue pill?

2011-01-08T21:35:00.000-08:00

question of the month..
will you be my sweetest downfall?
:S

2011-01-06T10:19:00.000-08:00

perhaps you were sure nothing will change, but when he's always there, how can things not change? just as i thought i found my path, i got lost- again. i need to wake up from this bad, bad dream...

All I hear is raindrops
Falling on the rooftop
Oh baby tell me why'd you have to go
Cause this pain I feel
It wont go away
And today I'm officially missing you
I thought that from this heartache
I could escape
But I fronted long enough to know
There ain't no way
And today
I'm officially missing you

2011-01-03T22:58:00.000-08:00

a letter to myself, from fb notes:

I’m typing this on my flight back from Shanghai. It just dawn on me that I more or less spent the last month of 2010 in awe of unique cultures, quirky places and etched lifelong precious memories. I began my journey in Asia with anticipation; I guess it’s only right to end it with reflections. Please also ignore my bad command of English.

I was in Gu Gong (Forbidden City), Beijing with an old sis from TJ one day where it struck me: ‘why did I even crease my eyebrows in pointless worry over small issues- even pissing myself off sometimes, when countless people in the world are suffering in pain due to the lack of bare essentials?’ I have seen these with my own eyes: Orphans in Laos have to beg for food, often at the mercy of tourists’ mood; Prostitutes in Thailand have to face lewd requests from people they earn from; Workers in China slave themselves via odd jobs for a mere Sing$200 a month so that they can feed their young; a beggar in Vietnam whispered to me if I don’t give him money, his syndicate will saw off his other leg. The fear I observed from him cannot be replicated by someone who don’t mean it.

It made me shameful of myself, amongst many other matters, of how I used to complain I’m still hungry after eating 2 suppers; demanding for the latest gadgets; spending so much at Zouk to make myself tired; splurging on unnecessary items; purchasing that damn car; losing all my earnings because of my inexperience; the lack of drive in the past year due to those ugly things…

Someone’s favorite line then resurfaced in my thoughts: ‘We are captains of our souls, masters of our destiny’.

i wonder how many more years would we take to fully understand that our lives/fate/destiny is in our own hands and be contented with ourselves? Don’t misunderstand. I don’t mean mere acceptance. I meant the passion of giving in your very best in everything we do for the betterment of ourselves and our loved ones. And more importantly- understanding the need for appreciation of simple things. I have not mastered these, but I’m learning to do so. i wrote down all these random thoughts so that i can share these thoughts with you all.

Dear friends, for the upcoming year, give your friends the best gifts they can receive: time and appreciation. For all tagged here, you'hv made an impact in my life and im thankful for that. im sure i left out some people due to the limit but you know who u are... Happy new year to you all!! May this year be of a fulfilling one to you. As i'm slowly coming to a closure from all that has had happened last year... thank you for sticking with me for the past year. I appreciate it sincerely. i wouldnt be where or who i am without you guys..

Arvin Tang

3rd Jan 2011

One last thing: the next time you embark on an outing with or without me, let’s disconnect our internet connection, switch off our phones and enjoy each other’s company :)

Overseas trip in details, Laos and thailand

2011-01-02T00:07:00.000-08:00

some details for future recollection would be awesome.. before i forget or get too lazy to do so. muaha.
Laos, Vientiane

yep buddies Kenny ang, tammy chew, suwi, weiwei and i decided to go Laos sometime mid term and there, off we go. initially clueless about what we were going to do there, most of us were pretty skeptical that it'll turn out to be a good trip. me, on the other hand, the wandering soul, knew otherwise. whatever it is, overseas trip will always turn out right if you connect with the locals;) hehe ok just let me boast.

we Reached Vientiane on the 4th. Vientiane is the captial of Laos, and no doubt, a third of people we saw there were Caucasians. However, commercialization of the country is not as far an noticable feature as that of Thailand or China. much to my delight, the rustic charm of a country-before-extensive-development is present in Laos.

Laotians are generally helpful and friendly, should you be friendly first of course. Most do understand English. Chinese could be heard frequently throughout my stay there too. In some parts, Thai was used and i could conduct my small talks and flirts via Thai. (haha). we met Bella and family in Vientiane, "RUE Francosis Ngin", adjacent to main street "Rue Setthathilath". we stayed on that street also, "Douang Deuane" for usd 20 a room. (weiwei found her first boyfriend there) housing are afforable, not neccessary for pre-booking but becareful during peak season for that street is near the MEKONG river, where tammy always want to drown my Queen Of Naga ( the longest sea snake ever found, no prizes for what it meant for me).

Vientiane is a pretty place to explore her cultural background- the "Cultural halls". Wats- mega temples, and colourful coastline, its great if you could rent a motorbike to go around the riverside area. Consistent with sociology and anthropology, since commerce were carried out via the use of rivers, the riverside town is usually the most developed section, until government maximise inland growth. well tammy would disagree, as she will freaking freak out at every sight of insect and not bother about anything else. "ENGTAT MOSIQUTOES!"

We proceeded to Vang Viene then Luang Prabang before heading back to Vientiane. VV was more of a.. adventure, sightseeing, tubing along river, kayaking, BARS along river, MAKESHIFT SLIDES and swings into the river at 3 stories high, and tons more caucasians. haha. a definite must go. we stayed at Jimmy's resthouse off town area, a good 10 min walk away from all the shops. nightlife's not too late, but if u have the right company, anything's awesome. try their 'buckets'- local whisky, no idea if they use petrollum to make us high- for a s$10, you can have ur fill for a 4-man strong drinking army. yes and u'll get a crazy girl who'll get drunk after two cups and lie on the road claiming she wanna see the stars. weiwei =)

Luang Prabang is a total relax chillout town. rent a bike and cycle around, their night markets are awesome. do indulge in local clubbing or pubbing during night time. just make friends with the younger population, they'll bring u outta goodwill and perhaps, trying to hook ur friends up as wad happened to suwi. i like this place. chilling temp at a constant 22 degrees, its the winter season afterall. kenny on the other hand, would warm himself up with bags from the girls. wuus... ok kidding. he's too nice u see. kenny korkor, with the armpit hair from the upper arm only.

Go enjoy Laos. dont worry of the itnerary. a day or two at each town is probably enough. if i had a choice, i may choose to stay one more day at VV so that i can totally SLACK while floating down NUM SONG RIVER in a tube. coolios. u wont regret that. unless ur kayaking partner is a lazy piece of shit. ok kidding suwi.

Laos was an unique experience, alike to thailand but relatively backdated. but should i credit anything to the fun of this trip, it would be the friends i travel with. we're so different individually, yet together we're a strongly bonded group. this bunch of people will be the people sitting at front table at my wedding. truely cherish them all. whatever it is.. epic memories will stay in my head which will be revived whenever i see them. all hail queen naga.

2010-12-18T23:34:00.000-08:00

credits to weiwei's tumblr. one pic many emotions much thoughts but Life goes on!

have been travelling and will be travelling. laos opened up my eyes on the value of serenity, money, brotherhood and sisterhoods ( of travelling pants hehs).

Thailand reaffirmed that friendships never diminish if you are sincere. do upon others what you expect others to you. feelings traverse boundaries.

of my 3-weeks trip: you never know the importance till its gone.

upcoming, china. i wonder in anticipation what this trip will bring me.=)

Laos orphans before they pray beside the road for food from monks at 602am

2010-12-18T13:06:00.000-08:00

omg. seriously why do i have to say it out. im didnt even drink a single drop of beer.

worst mistake of the year seriously.

2010-11-30T12:13:00.000-08:00

bestie jiu shi bestie; bff jiu shi bff; gf jiu shi gf

ended my exam with awesome people, 3 of my impt friends=) nice burgerking, Great movie: easy A with gf and bff, xlb desert, beer@bliss, ktv with bestie in the night. awesomeeee

this gave me a huge smile and a tinge of warmth:

We don't need many friends, we just need true friends who will be there.(iceicemilo bestie, 2010)

=)

2010-11-22T09:12:00.000-08:00

i seriously seriously seriously hate it. why bother when you dont care?

ANYWAYS.

one down, 4 more, zzz

Play maker

2010-11-21T11:13:00.000-08:00

Connectors are people with a special gift for bringing the world together(The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell)

in another word, Playmakers.

i like to be a playmaker for my team. the one that bonds and make a difference to the group identity.

it also mean that should you decide to stop being the playmaker, the group will disintegrate. hmms. its a lifelong role.

quote #2 coming from the same guy who posted Malcom on my wall: "its not what you say that defines you, its what you do"

jiayou arvintang, talk less, do more.

2010-11-17T00:45:00.000-08:00

@!$%^&^*$#@#$%*(!)!@#$

RAWR LEMME FOCUS.

!@#$!Q%!@#$!#%^$R$#$!

All I hear is raindrops falling on the rooftop
Oh baby, tell me whyâ€™d you have to go
â€˜Cause this pain I feel it wonâ€™t go away
And today Iâ€™m officially missinâ€™ you

I though that from this heartache, I could escape
But Iâ€™ve had it long enough to know
There ainâ€™t no way
And today Iâ€™m officially missing you

Chorus:
Ooh...canâ€™t nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do, hey, baby
Said it stays on my mind
And Iâ€™m officially

All I do is lay around, two years full of tears
From looking at your face all over
Just a week ago you were my baby
Now I dont even know you at all,
I dont know you at all

Well, I wish that you would call me right now
So that I could get through to you somehow
But I guess its safe to say, baby
Safe to say that Im officially missinâ€™ you

Chorus:
Ooh...cant nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do, hey, baby
Said it stays on my mind
And Im officially

running, running as fast as i can

2010-11-15T08:38:00.000-08:00

Banana pancakes

have you ever tried thinking about nothing as you running? for a start, just think of the cycle: draw air in. exhale it. draw air in. exhale it. draw...

let your psycho motor skills take over; let your subconscious run wild; release your breathe, inhale deeply and slowly.

i was amazed how this process of achieving serenity can still calm me down after my 8 years acquaintance with running.

even more delighted i was, when just my side there's a certain someone who is willing to accompany me in my journal for as long as she can.

BFF.

2010-11-11T07:22:00.000-08:00

5th day: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
rather than 5 ppl, perhaps 5 groups?

1) YEP and 3rd floor sluts people definitely... totally comfortable to say out every single thing, every shameful/happy/exciting/boring shitass yo i can think of. i think they'll stay with me thruout my life. yay.

2)brotherhood- polarbear, vulgarshit and dickass. the friends who will tell me the truth, however ugly it may be. ppl i can count on to save me. of cuz, i think they'll force me to be on my own till the last split second till i die before they intervene. you simply love them as much as u hate admitting it.

3)TJC's besties from mina to kimbo to aga to bob to juniors and batch mates. ppl who know and trust that im referring to them at this point. somehow, my life was pretty skewed before i entered tjc and they set it right, allowing my own identity to be created in the midst of interactions with them

4)climbers. one of the most fun group of ppl ard. dedicated, determined, daring. d^3. interesting ppl that diversed my life away from the normal Hall life. learnt hell lots from them.

5) this as a disclaimer? haha. not really. but well seriously there's much random people who appearred ( and disappeared ) that made a difference to who i am now. somehow i think simillarly, they'll know im referring to them. definitely those who have access to this post. hahas.

that made me kinda think back a while ago i had this thinking towards new friends- you may one day disappear in my life, may nv talk to me ever again. but now that i am your friend, i'll do my best to help you in your life, i'll do my best to contribute whatever i can to help you grow, i'll do my best to accept your comments and learn from it. i think i like to treat my friends like that.
天下无不散之筵席，但天下感情没那么容易解散。
still the same old line, dont ever regret.

vin

2010-11-09T01:16:00.000-08:00

day four: 4 turn offs!

HAHAs. of course, beside the opposite of the 3 turn-ons...

1) armpit hair
2) laziness
3) lian-ish character
4) people who dont LISTEN aka arrogant

muaha. this is quite funny.

2010-11-08T07:47:00.000-08:00

day 3: 3 turn-ons

oops i did one of it in day one. ok hmm 3 turn-ons. sound hamsak leh!

1) sporty legs!!
2) cuteness
3) smile

______________________

accustoming:
to familiarize by custom or use; habituate

how fast can you accustomize to something you hate?

2010-11-07T06:24:00.000-08:00

day 2: two smileys that describe my life now

:$*Blush*
i realized.. im acutally quite shy with girls. im serious.

:)
all smiles for the friends that made a difference to me

sound boring hor. ok i shall add on to it. i cried watching this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0I3Kpl3DTI&feature=player_embedded#!

let go of your feelings once in a while here and there.

Master tip #4392: A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, or to others, is not a nice person. be nice, you'll like it.

2010-11-06T08:23:00.000-07:00

i'll start from the bottttttom:

one confession-
girls with intelligence turns me on.

2010-11-06T01:09:00.001-07:00

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession

2010-11-04T08:01:00.001-07:00

was doing my soci paper and i suddenly remembered the beach along Redang.

was there with a bro now overseas, a good fren who longer talks to our clique, and the girl i once thought i would marry.

but no this ain't a post to emo (Again). its bout the beach- at the far end or Redang's beach, the one populated with famous resorts with infamous charges, there's a stretch cordoned off. there, you'll find the 'Beach of the blue sand'.

'Blue sand' is an understatement of the phenomenal observed there. The sand is rich with a specific organism which GLOWS with a blue tinge at night.

its so beautiful.

2010-11-02T08:01:00.000-07:00

回忆刚飘过酸苦的日子，
有些事，大众不知，深夜里发现难以坦白。
心虽事了了，但不知如何是好。

天天想作为好榜样的我，回想有些事能使我自傲十足，
有些却让我低头‘心’苦。

回到现时面对事实的当儿，嘴角不料显出一丝丝的乐纹
在这可怕的世界里，当雾里分不清影踪的时候
别怕，别愁
两个字给你拥抱：知己

天下天空海阔，知己却难找
beyond 的歌容纳了我心情
我命好，能找知己, 我早已满足
这篇心情是献给我疼爱的知己，
对呀，就是你，不然你这么会知我blog呢？
=）

2010-11-01T02:14:00.000-07:00

HAHA. i just rmbed this from a specific someone: bitching bonds. it takes one to bond them all. Assumption 1 (being an economists, i cant help it but to assume matters eh?)

that someone's me. HAHA. sucha bitch, but totally loving it. there was another day where i was asked for my views on everyday-politics and i summarized like this:

the fundamentals of Politics are bad relationships. as long as there are relationships, be it good or bad, politics exist. within itself alike to a terminal illness, when not managed correctly it'll eat away everything. Assumption 2.

on the other hand, i seem to like it. politics evolves from unhappiness which results in bitching. assumption one + assumption two = accept politics, just dont be the one that people bitch about. food for thought.

2010-11-01T01:39:00.000-07:00

among the nights when you have a tinge of reminiscence- of the very feeling which you were so confident of. dont fret when all fails, just find back the drive that brought you to the present. should there be no more drive, create one. to live without a purpose is no different from a car on automation without a driver.

i intepret this song as the journey of achieving freedom- you lose some, you gain some. give and take. at the end of the day, what's lost must be found.
F C Dm bB

今天我寒夜裡看雪飘过怀著冷却了的心窝飘远方
F C

风雨裡追赶雾裡分不清影踪
bB F

天空海阔你与我可会变 (谁没在变)
F C Dm bB

多少次迎著冷眼与嘲笑从没有放弃过心中的理想
F C

一刹那恍惚若有所失的感觉
bB F

不知不觉已变淡心裡爱 (谁明白我)

bB C F bB C F

原谅我这一生不羁放纵爱自由也会怕有一天会跌倒
bB C F Am Dm bB C F

背弃了理想谁人都可以那会怕有一天只你共我

Dm C bB C Dm C F

仍然自由自我永远高唱我歌走遍千里

dedication

2010-10-22T22:51:00.000-07:00

if you're stranded, helpless and can only contact your friends to help you, who will you call? everyone has a story, this is mine

a dedication to the people who defined me

there was this girl i sat with for the whole of my pri school life. i do not know her for only 5 years of my life. over the years, in between months of no-contact, we always feel good to speak Truthfully to each other, however ugly the matter may be. she's Angela lee.

i had my first gf when i was late 12, it was puppy love, but i spent 4 years with her. 4 years of memories, love, hurt, sadness, happiness to name a few emotions. its a pity we started too young, too immatured or we'll be a pair of good friends now. i handled the breakup a tat too wrong and we dont talk anymore. i think she hates me. (heh). i dont exactly miss her, but i really wonder how she is now.

secondary school was a mess, but from hokkienhuaykuan, rylee's named after her. a much envied person, i respect her. she'll give her best to make everyone happy. a session out with her is like, therapy. i do enjoy my time with her :) a soon to be doctor, she is Sheila, xinle. Rylee tang smith Xinle is my niece's name.

i used to have a group of bros from VS who ensured me that i do not have to project myself as someone else to seek peer acceptance. just be myself. a superficial image will just be torn down, just like how the others suffered. they are xiwei, joeltang and kafai. Kafai left us, to reasons the other two have yet to reveal to me. no doubt every time i am reminded of them, i promised to never let my friends go ahead with their lives without knowing my appreciation for them.

the first 16 years of my life was a bad foundation for me. it was shaky, filled with selfish and arrogant thoughts. it made me yearn for a second chance in jc, where i met the rest of the people i know i can rely on anytime, every where. on hind sight, perhaps these 16 years were the right foundation for me.

arvintang, no longer relinquished.

2010-10-22T13:39:00.001-07:00

angsty post, beware:

why should i give a shit when you dont give a damn?

cause i cant help it. fuck.

2010-10-22T09:33:00.001-07:00

its not who you are but what you do that defines you.

2010-10-19T07:05:00.000-07:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHH. gaowei ttm.

when a close Prof tells you about his lost child, it would no doubt be one of the more emotional matters you will experience. and your friend just have to sit down at the moment a tear slipped down his cheek AHHH GAOWEI LAH.

but anyways, an even heavier heart now cause of a lost life to someone dear to me.

2010-10-18T20:22:00.000-07:00

Five Regrets of the Dying By Bronnie Ware Platinum Quality Author

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learned never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventuallyacceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friendsuntil their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

and my own input, dont regret. =)

2010-10-18T09:59:00.000-07:00

the Fed prints more money which in short, decreasing interest rates and depreciating the Dollar. Real exchange rate drops hence price of foreign goods increases while domestic ( States ) decreases. US hopes to draws investments and consumption inwards. however, the mad rush for greenback increases may misled floaters- prediciting inflation. other countries loses their advantages as well. i guess printing of money is not the same as creating monies.

hmm. as a large, open economy, what should be feared is that the monetary policies undertaken by the USA may affect others more than their own domestic policies.

2010-10-15T08:33:00.003-07:00

time and time again, i am reminded not to shit in my own backyard.

a story dont only have two sides, it has thousands.

scary.

2010-10-14T11:23:00.000-07:00

reaffirming im not able to apply for SEP, with a cap just .1 away from the minimum, i guess i cant fulfil what i wanted for in my NUS life. was telling my bros at a ex-classmates meeting: im afraid the only thing i regret in the future is my university life. time to practise what i teach- i am aware of my flaws, this should be a wake up call for action to breakthrough. i lack the conditioning part to keep myself going. time to study arvin!

2010-10-13T03:00:00.000-07:00

Rylee and kaylee both went home. they are so damn cute.
pretty happy that for once in my life, i had a chance to be part of 3 families. first time seeing my dad being so happy as well. someone asked me if i had a time machine where and when will i go. i would want to go back in past to see how my dad was. haha.

vin

What else to expect?

2010-10-13T02:47:00.001-07:00

with a strange turn of events, i am lucky to get admitted into NOC, india. looking forward to the three months overseas there. somehow, perhaps i am thinking that it may push me to understand what made the changes in such a short time to her.

been thinking about it, i guess i am not as strong as i think i am! time to buck up. haha.

2010-06-05T00:23:00.001-07:00

心若倦了泪也干了
这份深情难舍难了
曾经拥有天荒地老
已不见你暮暮与朝朝
这一份情永远难了
原来时还能再度拥抱
爱你的人如何死守到老
怎样面对一切我不知道
回忆过去痛苦的相思忘不了
为何你还来拨动我心跳
爱你怎么能了今夜的你应该明了
愿难了情难了

when its over. waves of emotions come to you. registering that fact hurts like shit, and acknowledging it gives u another waves. i'll wait i guess, i'll wait.

2010-05-04T12:04:00.001-07:00

Appreciation

everyone dont mind and sometimes, need it. agree? the smile that dont contain the happiness you use to see, the words that seem dull.

its in time like this when you start thinking: whadaya want from me; who am i to you.

2010-04-13T04:44:00.000-07:00

first time ever to feel so prepared for something yet only to turn back at the gateway.

an elephant moving south can never overcome a billion rats moving north in unity.

moral of the story? a lone ranger seeking to change the world can never work; to dominate, move as a group.

sunzibinfar number 54. hahaha coolshites.

2010-02-01T11:33:00.000-08:00

"its not the size of you in a fight, its the size of the fight in you"
-melkhoo

often, what matters to us is that we recognise the David in us; the David who defeated the Goliath despite his significant comparative disadvantage of height and strength.

recognising the giant within us and acknowledging the leverage tools we have may just be the template we need to overcome any hurdles in our lives.

2010-01-28T18:43:00.000-08:00

He who has never learned to obey
cannot be a good commander.
-Aristotle

2010-01-21T18:53:00.000-08:00

what if the flame that was once believed to never die out met a backdraft- in johnny storm's words- exploded and just disappear?

shit.

2010-01-20T19:01:00.000-08:00

a liar must have a damn good memory.

2010-01-18T08:35:00.000-08:00

pouring the syrup of loss over the open fire of sorrow: it solidifies not into grief, not into that you can recognise; it gets thick as paste, black as ash, yet it isnt until you dip a finger in and feel that sharp prick of heat that you realised this is regret and pain in its purest form.

unrefined and misunderstood.

slowly, it thickens on your finger and you finally realise: this is a cast that cant be broken.

2010-01-17T03:21:00.000-08:00

when things you hold close to your heart fall apart; when matters you are so sure of suddenly reveals; when you thought it didnt matter and it does

tears will fall and soul will sink. then you realise and reflect.. before long, you finally understood:

its no longer the same.

2009-10-18T07:22:00.000-07:00

yup matt, sort of relieved. and shuhui, not a lot of ppl know of this know! anyways

whoaaa... i came a long way from being a supporter of climbing to now climbing myself.

yesterday when i was seated at the chair, i told myself.. i always believe that i could climb.. either rockclimbing-wise well or as a monkey, simply. but there i was sitting in SP's preparation seat while the timer counted down from the 3.5 mins loop. three things came to my mind.

i can do this

finally i can do what i wish for

i hope i can continue doing this.

kind of weird. getting used to waiting for my gf's isolation for like wad, 2 hours? to me being isolated for 3 hours and climbin a relatively good climb, ending 2nd in the heats. but it wasn't good enough for finals today. today a different 3 things came to me.

can i do this?

finally, is this what i wish do?

i wished she was in the crowd looking at me doing this..

bleks. didn't do well for my finals cuz i was not focusing! i know i can do much better. plus a bit of panic cause i dint expect myself to not being able to even finish half the route! got to take it in my stride and learn again. haven't been in this position for a while, ironically, it made me feel quite good. im back, truly am. wished she was here though. enjoyed my climb and despite all the encouragement, i know i can do better today at SP. watch it, i'll be back stronger and more consistent. (applying the mohd ali motivation sequences to myself)

the positive thoughts vs negative thoughts concept nv came so clearly to me. figured that even if it is sub consciously at the back of my mind, a negative thought will affect you as you push out of ur limit and haunt u. i need to work hard. stmgoal is to train hard enough to compete equally with daryl! watch outtttt im coming hard and fast.

well till then. life's turning around and turning fast. but with choices made in the past, consequences still catch up and there's no way you can shun it, even if you have made a correction or change your views. i just need to make a new choice to receive new consequences.

hopefully, i can now prove not all consequences have negative connotations. with my new educational company set up, looking forward to seeing kids smile as they instill the right sense of attitude towards life=) kids rocks.

2009-09-23T05:01:00.001-07:00

NEW POST!!

WHEH! start of a new chapter is great.

NUS life is like good... (minus the studyin part)

anyways anyhow,
although each of us have a certain set of values and experience to enable us to coach others,

being your own coach is the hardest thing to do. So, work for it! =)

2009-01-05T02:41:00.001-08:00

hello..

been a while. another year has passed and no this is not an emo entry haha.

things have not been going smooth, though definately with some improvement. when all factors of staying fit to fight equates to zero, one has to only depends on his mentality.

will my mentality be strong enough to withstand all kinds of shit happening to me? i often asked this to myself. 2 years later, the answer is, well, i have already gone through 2 years, 2, 4, 20 years wont be much different.

sometimes, proving critics wrong is why i am so hot into what i am doing. watch out, i'll be back.

just hope that my family matters work out first, thats the first and most impt factor i have to adjust. 2ndly, i know my lady will be happy if she know that she'll be in all the aspects i use to consider options in my life. 3rdly, slam those critics down with success.

i can do and may make many difficult decisions at this point of time. much of this decisions may determine the my market situation in China. Having links to the China MNC which produced the first rocket in China history, the lady who have houses in all 36 province of China, and the list goes on. this cant happen without the support of a few impt friends and xiuxiu. like agatha, andrew benkwan ain edwin bob kahsing da j and much to consider. one thing that i have to say is still

watch out, i'll be back, and back stronger.

that is my new year resolution.

Arvin tang the frog.

2008-05-08T03:01:00.001-07:00

this old frog is in a shocked and depressed mood.

sigh.

2008-05-02T08:00:00.000-07:00

HELLO u all.

haha.. my blog's being discovered as we speak.. well well well. Hi people. esp to the ladies who made my SJI camp memorable too. and arlo, 123,456,789, i no time tag other ppl blog la, started with bec's, any prob! i'll stick on u=P haha..

well this is the shirt they gave me!!=)

they signed and gave tat to me on the last day. haha sweet. anyway well.. realli must comment on them. first day when i saw them, they bullied me LAaarh. that jing wen. pretend cannot hear me make me shout till i pek chek. haha on a serious note, noticed that the class had different cliques and they might not be as bonded as they should be. taking a mental note, i was surprised by the constant enthu led on by their class leaders. very outstanding.=)

days past in st johns' and they enjoyed themselves, while immersing into the mood of being at a deserted island just with their class. a strong class bond was eventually forged which i know, will carry them on for rest of their lives. rock on!! still rmb how i irritate ppl in the camp, TRa LALA cheer started cuz trella was calling me toad. so i just TRE LALA LALA and started the song. haha. super fun. and there's beautiful girls!!! my favorite song lo. told u all, when i go back to do camps it'll be my first song hehe. it was pretty cute cuz at first our campfire prep was for PRETTY woman. i suppose they saw me dance to beautiful girls too often and learnt it faster than pretty woman. haha. was great. in the ferry back played with wenjie and the rest. ahha. nonsense me.

campfire was good. reflections that nite took a long time but it was very much needed. 2 days were all that 3 J needed to realise that among them are frens who will give it all just to support them. cherish them and be well=)

anwyay, im back to work finally. going to fly to hong kong and dubai in a while. let me know if u wan anything from there.. DA J time to go out makan. class outing yo yo yo. haha. feels good tonite! had a drink just now after meetin client.. now ppl jio play dota CMI!! alrights signing off.

your froggy.

2008-04-26T00:55:00.000-07:00

the class.

the one i participate as an instructor.. the place i went back to since a yr ago at st john island.. the one which i feel is my current best group after bowen..

SNGS CAMP at SJI with me. you rock.

girls are fine ladies, enthu but unfamilier to each other. feels good that as an instructor, this is one of the times i have (i believe) deeply impacted all of them and have assit them to knit a strong bond together. finally grasp hold of my idol willy and melvin plus timlo said last year. the campers cries not just becuz u caught their soft spot through debriefing, but they feel the difference before and after, esp for a new class. when they tears, it IS a successful camp.

im very proud of my group, 3 justice. matured young ladies. a class with different people of different characters and feelings but united tightly as a single class. rock on, 3J. cute=)

this camp has indeed reignite my passion for teaching and coaching. yes yes my dear classmates and frens laugh at me for teachin values, but at the moment u instil a set of values unto them. the feeling is unforgettable. pain sweat tireness blood irritatedness broship sis-ship respect. a myraid of feelings and emotions in one camp both for the instructor and campers. yet another group of young lives i'hv influenced for the better. im glad.=)

2008-04-14T05:41:00.000-07:00

APPPPLLEEEEE BOTTTTTTTOM JEANNS, BOOTs WITH THE FURR [ W the FURRR] AND THE WHOLLLLEEEEE CLUB WAS LOOOOOOOKING AT HEERRRRR.

SHE HIT THE FLO,
NEXT THING YOU KNOW, SHAWTEEEE
got
LOW
LOW
LOW
LOW
LOW
LOW
LOW
LOWWWWW. (dirty sweat pants, reebok with the strapppp, she turn ard and gave that big booty a smack!)

whooooooo new fav song, FINE, not fav new song. im lag, i know. KIKS we rocks la. ahaha. yup judd you were one of my guineeeee pigs for theory 1 hahaha.. u realli have the ballet feeling yo! and da J its time u talk to me bout it man. wheeeeeee. going for camp soon. stnicks 24th to 6th. interesting. with like ALVIN ANDREW MELLOY WEELLLLI TIMLO ME JAC JO CHERIE MEIQI and others i think. haha. WHOOosh. fun man. well, things are picking up and my biz is and will be blooming! glad. see u all!
soon.

2008-04-11T21:51:00.000-07:00

ello. aiyoooo... looking thru the emails andfacebook. i miss those buggers overseas la. just so happened they're good friends and MY closest frens too. SIAN.

nick ,my mina, KIKI... come back la. wan to smack one's ass, pat one's head, and point 3rd finger at the other=P

-disclaimer: figure out urself which action is for who =X -

eh... long time nv update cuz lazy la da J, think like u ar, eat already MUST blog. flew back from hk, the situation looks good. im gonna battle yet again. watch out, SLK 250.

anyways, i often have theories which shall be put to the test:

theory no. 1: heh heh, by looking at the way how girls stand and poise, one can tell she's a ballet dancer or not. ------------accuracy to 80%.

theory no. 2: the habitual number of plys of toliet paper used is directly proportionate to the comfortbility of life in relative scale for the person when he is young - comfort need not means wealth.------------- accuracy to 75% (some ppl just like to waste paper)

theory no. 3: when u speed(drive) from one junction to another and the light just turns red, most prob your next light will turn red before you reach.

muaha. ok nth much now.. im like having my childhood over again. started playin soccer, play RUBRICKS and yes its fun, play dota.. whee. on the other hand. cant wait for things to end so that i can proceed on smoothly.

2008-03-20T22:37:00.001-07:00

eeew. cannot stand emo posts on my blog. ANYWAYS.

let me tell u something....

IM FLYING TML!!!!!!!!! see you all around

gonna meet the trackies later.. hahah funny... hope ze will be there. its always interesting talkin to her and realised her understanding power is as fast as a sloth. AHHAHA. but her being so sincere always makes me feel comfort when im with her. cheers. yay. hahaha. wonder how my MINAH's doing in AUS. shall drop her a call soon...

wheeeeeeeeee gdluck to xiu xiu for ur comp tml. and speakin of comp. eh ZA, ur nickname is one that describe u best. HAHAH ok la, i shall call u pretty from now. eh PRETTY, wad comp issit? no need stress la just train. ask me out i train with u. some shooting hoops again? HAHA dumb.

2008-03-20T09:00:00.000-07:00

i might be emotional, but not emo. there's a difference, big J, shithead. -.-
za, you are dumb la. forever asking us out but u're not free. WHEN ARE U FREE. (for the 2352395874578023 times in the 3 years)

are you usually like this..? once a bro, always a bro. once a sis, always your sis. is that how u feel too? then why will there be chances that you drift apart, by choice? maybe thats why people calls me dumb. when i am close to someone, my feelings are true and i give it all to them. to the extent sometimes, guiltyly and i am sure not to do so now, closer to them than my dear xiuxiu. and now.. when there's someone new in your life, and you wont wan to spend more time with an old buddy, let me know yeah..... it does hurts, and it does sound silly, to be out of reach of your (or u think) best frens.. to the 2 sis and a bro who will nv read this. i always miss u all, and wondering, did i do anything wrong? indeeed im affected.

of cuz with that, i also come to realised how true some frenships are. justin fat... wongka.... agasoh.... drew... fav juniors judnut... ZA BASTar* and gang... among some of my treasured friends. would nv miss out miss yap too. haha.. =) you all make me feel warm when im down. as per u all are a call away, i will too. emotional little cute froggy me signing off.

2008-03-16T02:16:00.000-07:00

再给我两分钟，让我把记忆变成冰。。。

*你听了40次还不够哈？！*
heh heh it has been like tat for the last week=P even the officer that walks into the room slightly less then 10 times a day complain why is it always that song. HEH HEH HEH.

anyways,
minah: i donno how to change the link. someone did it for me, but know, ur link's always linked to my heart..... heh=)
rae: hello rae! heard u're overseas.. how u coping there? haiyo. im a no one dont worry.. i dont even know wads forbes=) so yeah, how long will u be there!!
nut: nut dont be a nut. CONTROL!! hahah.. wad u been up to ehz?
justin: EH YOU FATASS !!!! PANGSEH ME FOR DINNER WITH THAT KAKA STILL DARE TO SAY ANYTHING!!! GRR. &*%*

ah.. taking a slow and easy pace of life these days before flying off next few weeks for work. will be real busy soon and i just want to enjoy myself now hehz. nt'h much's up, cept well, went out with xiu xiu to eat and she taught me GIVE ME 2 MINS!!! ahhh maadness... and justin and kahsing pangsehed me like the 5th time tonite. u two are so gonna die.

saw many people yesterday at comms parade, kaixiang, keynes, jason tan, blah blah.. all rightful people to hold that postion. congrats. for the 9 months of s*** they have been thru, yesterday was their day=)

2008-03-04T05:11:00.000-08:00

hellos..=)

birthday just passed, 20 this year.. hm, another army year, another soft yr for me. gosh now's 9 and im still starving. oo jas's just talked to me glad to know she's fine as well. sigh. in the army loop. feeling a bit older now, hope the expected storm thats coming my way can hit me with mercy.

went out to meet my juniors, here's a pic of the legendary castle in singapore. always fun meeting the two crazy jud and nut.

recently bought a book called the Black Swan. regarding randomness in our lives. reading a chapter today made me conclude:

its the small details that make us who we are, and we ought to focus on the details and minute stuff rather than the expected, controlled matters on our hands. think back in your life, how many major events can u remember?

and usually, among those major events if you give it a serious thought, you realised they are the results of the small minute effort and details?

is it these major events ( "the result") that changes ur life or the detailing ?

haha. im totally into this book now. watched a jaychou mv, very nice. as follows=)

最長的電影

我們的開始是很長的電影

放映了三年

我票都還留著

冰上的芭蕾腦海中還在旋轉

望著你慢慢忘記你

朦朧的時間我們溜了多遠

冰刀劃的圈　圈起了誰改變

如果再重來會不會稍嫌狼狽

愛是不是不開口才珍貴

再給我兩分鐘

讓我把記憶結成冰

別融化了眼淚

你妝都花了

要我怎麼記得

記得你叫我忘了吧

你說你會哭

不是因為在乎

2008-02-25T08:19:00.000-08:00

went out for a pleasant gathering with the tj trackers... no, tracker.. yup my fav junior, NUT!! =) had a fun time crapping eating and watching juno. whooo juno's pretty good... quite a sweet movie. i like it more than ps i lvoe u. and oh yes i missed a part of ps i love u cuz i was late=P hahaha... thanks to nut for cheering me up totally. o=) yup.. an angel for u.

nites

haha

2008-02-22T05:02:00.000-08:00

haha.. whenever i log in, i see the title above, froggie page..... brings a smile to my face no matter how empty i am feeling, like, now..

shrugs, back to reailty. i donno why im feeling like this. i need a drink badly. looking thru the blogs, glad that claudia has found someone who truely loves her and provide joy for her from now on. honestly, i feel so much better knowing she's happily in her own world now. best wishes..

wonder how's jas. random. wonder how's a lot of ppl recently. does it happen to everyone? hmmm makes me wonder. with each phase of life, would u spend some eeffort getting in touch with e rest of your oldies? what if u did and realised its only you whose trying? they say this is wad that catagorises true frens from accuq., though i beg to differ. maybe thats why im feelin empty? yea maybe thats it.

i lost a couple of grand to a mistake. foolish me.. i need some encouragement but i do not know where to get it.. big bro's hard to be... when ppl blames me when its not my fault, i need to take it in my stride, when ppl leave me for sth i did not do, i need to swallow my pride, when ppl are down, i will get them up, when others need someone, i promise i would be there. but.. when i need someone..?

Nut once asked: what is the difference betw loving a fren as a bro/sis or lovin a fren more than a friend?
i replied: loving a fren as a bro/sis is when u know you cant love him/her more than a friend.

i need a drink badly

Stolen

We watch the season

Pull up it’s own stakes

And catch the last weekend

Of the last week, Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced

Another sun soaked season fades away

You have stolen my heart

Invitation only, Grand Farewells

Crush the best one Of the best ones

Clear liquor and cloudy eyed Too early to say goodnight

You have stolen my heart

And from the ball room floor We are in celebration

One good stretch before our hibernation

Our dreams assured and we all

sleep well

you have stolen you have stolen my heart

Watch you spin around

In your highest heels

You are the best one

Of the best ones

WeAllLookLikeWeFeel

you have stolen my

you have stolen my heart.

2008-02-21T06:43:00.000-08:00

whee.

finally heard from that pui. hope she smiles more from now on. a lot of people care for u girl. smile once more like u always do=) jaslyn..!! miss u..! hope u're coping well.. omg kimbo acutally VISITED MY BLOG THOUGH IT DIED FOR 6 MONTHS?! coolios=) bobo u rock. for that, i shall dedicate this blogpost to her.. BOBO IS SHORT AND BOBOISH. ok ok haha. met up with them recently.. all the beta committee.. miss all the times i was with my committee.. the times they all gang up against me, suan me till i die, suan them till THEY die, of cuz, till mohana comes around but well, wonder how is she cuz we lost contact.. ahh.. mina's still great, leavin soon, very sad, very sad. two more days. sigh. this feeling sucks.

been alone for some time, and with each passing minute, i feel more at ease with myself. i must learn to accept myself, where i can think properly and process information alone. not a very pleasant thing to do as of now, sigh. somemore, this yr's pretty quiet for me.. oh well.

birthday's coming, i'hv decided to let it pass quietly as well. íts my 20th after all, nth much..=)
010308. time flew. its been a yr since i met the instrs, changed my lives after our first contact. the wild Arvin is unleashed... dots dots. jaslyn ar, pui pui ar.. my bro alvin esp. sigh. just wish so much, he could treat wads happeneing professionally and be best bros yet again. i shall wait. of cuz, ending this post with this: brought in BOBO to CHA and she likes it!! bob bob too. meihui, juiors, others. hope their lives changed as much as it did for me. camp high achievers. achieve what you can and what you should. together, we acheive more. =)

What's Left of Me Lyrics

Music Artist: Nick Lachey Album: What's Left of Me

Watch my life, Pass me by,

In the rear view mirror

Pictures frozen in time

Are becoming clearer

I don't wanna waste another day

Stuck in the shadow of my mistakes

Yeah...

[Chorus] Cause I want you,

And I feel you,

Crawling underneath my skin

Like a hunger, Like a burning,

To find a place I've never been

Now I'm broken, And I'm faded,

I'm half the man I thought I would be:

But you can have what's left of me

I've been dying inside,

Little by little, No where to go,

But going out of my mind

In endless circles,

Running from my self until,

You gave me a reason for standing still

It's falling faster, Barely breathing,

Give me something, To believe in

Tell me:

It's not all in my head

Take what's left Of this man

Make me whole

Once again

I've been dying inside you see I

'm going out of my mind

Out of my mind

I'm just running in circles all the time

Will you take what's left

Will you take what's left of me?

ps i love you

2008-02-16T03:45:00.000-08:00

this is kind of cool, since blogging for me is a "nope" for pretty long time. well.. life for me has been ever changing. twists and turns seemed fun at one time, but you'll get sick of it after a while. bleooo.. i miss camps! haha. a new chapter will begin soon.

watched PS i love you on vday, was an excellently good film. filled with so much emotions and it incurs a myraid of feelings when u watch it. one of the best films i'hv caught. i like it=)

For You i will (confidence)- Teddy

Wondering the streets, in a world underneath it all

Nothing seems to be, nothing tastes as sweet

As what I can't have

Like you and the way that you're twisting your hair round your finger

Tonight I'm not afraid to tell you

What I feel about you.

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have

and cannon ball into the water

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have

For you I will

Forgive me if I st-stutter >

From all of the clutter in my head

Cuz I could fall asleep in those eyes

Like a water bed

Do I seem familiar, i've crossed you in hallways a thousand times,

no more camouflauge

I want to be exposed,

and not be afraid to fall.

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have

And cannon ball into the water

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have

For you I will

You always want what you can't have

But I've got to try

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have

For you I will

For you If I could dim the lights in the mall

And create a mood

I would

Shout out your name so it echos in every room

That's what I'd do,

That's what I'd do

to get through to you I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have

And cannon ball into the water

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have

For you I will

You always want what you can't have

But I've got to try

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have

For you I will

2007-03-13T18:32:00.000-07:00

happenings came in bunches of good and bad.

results weren't good, but the sadness lasted probably a day when i realised, as what jas n other instructors told me.. i have other stuff to make up for it. and i shall cont be the froggy me=)

camps were good, with a lot of experience gained again.

it was sad that xphysique had a screw up and i dint get the top 5 medal=(

but i was glad my team was so strong up against the open teams to come in 6th

it was sad i was yes, nat, so busy.

but at least now and there i tok to my exclassmates and frens. of which i always will be entertained and entertaining.

anyway before i get to tok bout other stuff, im gonna be overseas for 4 days till sunday from now. going on a biz trip to indo. so tk care guys and be well!